The feminine soul is uniquely that…Feminine. It is that which is undefined but felt, that which is felt but uncontrollable, that which is fierce and sensual and ruthless and kind. It has as many different expressions as there are feminine souls. The feminine isn’t bound by womanhood but I am a woman so my perspective will come through as a woman’s perspective. I do not consider it Truth…only my unique view.
My story won’t be tied down by the details of my life. It wants to be told through a wider more expanded lens. You see, I am tired of the same old details. Too often they have been the collection of wounds that I have felt the need to carry around, to display with argument, rebelliousness and perceived nonchalance. I no longer want the weight of them. My wounds have been like a piece of clothing that hid my curves, my body, my soul. They served a purpose at one point when I wanted to hide, when I felt I needed to hide. I now want to be seen. I want to participate in life with fullness, richness and with all of the messiness that I am.
I sit here and wonder how I got to this place of let go. How did I get from such a place of identity with my pain to the place that is in awe with the path it took me on? How did I get from the place of complete despair to a peaceful gratefulness? If my journey is helpful in any way then it is worth the writing of it, if it is not then it will find its natural place. I share a bit of it in the hopes that it provides hope and stirs you, the reader, to trust more of the feminine in you, despite the details of your own story.
I had spent years feeling and expressing anger, despair and righteousness about the wrongs that I felt were done to my female counterparts and me. I had fought, withdrawn, refused, kicked, screamed and argued. I had also alienated, scared off, hurt, bruised and perpetuated…all in my struggle to come to some wholeness. I didn’t always see the oncoming wholeness while in the midst of it but little by little, with lots of help and encouragement, I started to step into myself and to enjoy the many faces and voices of the feminine as it wanted to come through me.
My pain was probably my greatest teacher for without the pain I would not have had reason to change. It forced me, in my attempt to make it go away, deeper into myself. Slowly through my healing of compulsive overeating, through my ever-changing relationships, through loving and caring for my children I was gifted with some very helpful insights.
Unfortunately, as with many teenage girls, I was terribly unhappy with my body. I hated it. I tried bulimia, starving myself and even laxatives but my body did not like any of those choices so it lead me to compulsive overeating. What a wise body! It was basically saying, “No way, I am NOT getting smaller. You WILL deal with me one way or another.” Goddess bless the feminine soul. It didn’t care what the culture thought I should look like. It was going to have its say and it took me kicking and screaming. The journey has been long and sometimes very hard but I am forever thankful.
I believe that Femininity is demanding fuller expression in today’s world. I also believe that it is in this fuller expression that our world can embody more of its own wholeness. Our world and our physical bodies are mirrors and holograms of and for each other. What we do to one we do to the other, it can’t be any other way. The places that we are disembodied in our physical selves are indicators to a greater disembodiment, in our lives and in the world.
The diversity of feminine expression is needed to fill out our world. Becoming ecstatic with our bodies as they are is essential. Dancing with wildness, yelling, screaming, undulating and gliding may be some feminine expressions as well as silence, meditating, singing or drawing. There are no limits to feminine expression. The question remains, “Are we willing to embody how it wants to come through us? Can we open our channels, without judgment, shame or excuse and trust how we (it) show(s) up?” I guarantee you it is more fun opening to the unknown than it is to stay tightened in an unblossomed bud.
Beth Power lives and grows in South Florida where she is currently in Massage School learning more ways to support people in their journey within. She continues to be fascinated with the Feminine and hopes to find more and more ways of fuller expression.
Beth Power, 500 Three Island Blvd, #525A, Hallandale Beach, FL 33009; Bpower58@hotmail.com 