January 31, 2005
It has been three years since the beginning of this writing, more than two since the divorce was final. We are in the middle of another cold, snowy Maine Winter. My little girl is a beautiful teenager. Her father is on another planet somewhere, and she is the only astronaut able to visit his world.
My house keeps expanding. It houses the two of us, the dog and cats, all my work and all the people who visit. It is a sanctuary, a studio, a retreat, a nest. I call it Ruby-Throated Spirit, honoring the magic and joy of the hummingbirds who return every summer. That name names the music of the voice in free expression and the pure vibration coursing through. I am a singing priestess of joy and sorrow, a facilitator of liberating sound, and a transmitter of sky wisdom.
The stone path to my door is inhabited by very old forest spirits. They decide who can enter and who cannot. Sometimes people say they are definitely coming, and then, they don’t. Some people return again and again, traveling long distances in a remarkably short time, arriving without fatigue. They sleep well here, and they transform astonishingly in a few days.
After I laid the stones, I danced up and down the path. I sat, looking at it as if it were a little stream. It seemed to flow. I thought of all the footsteps I encourage in my work. And I felt how these stones would also support my own steps, venturing out and coming home.
I still don’t know where my path is going. Every day, I greet the unknown. Sometimes I seem to watch myself, lifting out of my story to get a bigger picture, and I wonder what is ahead, how it will all make sense someday. Sometimes I am overwhelmed again and call out to my Guidance for help. I am always answered when I remember to ask. If I were to ask right now, I would say: Please tell me how to express the place I inhabit now, how to put into words this new life.
Dear One, you are in the center of yourself. Your life emanates from you, as light. You focus on any facet, and there you are in the center of it. Day to day, a path is forming, and you have come very far, remaining in the same physical house, but shifting the energy of it, so that you can barely remember how it once felt. You are the center, you are your Earth, spinning on your axis, having seasons, witnessing and creating, giving birth, nurturing and letting go.
Nothing has changed on the outside and everything has changed. You have become accustomed to your freedom. You have grown confident in your ability to survive. The entire spectrum of feelings washes through you, new challenges appear, and sometimes you are very tired. Tired of challenges, tired of feelings, tired of life. But you are choosing freely, to dive into work or to take a rest, to follow your own fascination and pleasure.
The new life is subtle and organic, radical and eccentric, responsible and mature. Your new life is fully yours. That, in itself, is supremely joyful.
We want to remind you once more that your life is part of a vast complex weaving of lives. Your vibration is harmonizing with many other vibrations, creating a continually evolving music. Your actions, as you move through your day, are part of a choreography including all other still and mobile creatures, even the wind and all that it blows through the atmosphere, the flowing waters, and the celestial bodies. The scale of this weaving, music and dance is beyond your comprehension, and yet, the Universe leaves nothing out. It never drops a stitch or overlooks a voice. Everyone and everything is necessary for the whole. There is no such thing as insignificant, even though the significance cannot be fathomed. This requires of you moment-to-moment faith. Your part is perfect, however chaotic it may seem. All is in continual motion, so that you are never truly stuck. And you are not alone on your journey. Other dancers are moving to join you, even if you don’t sense their momentum. Your voice growing stronger and freer alters the harmony and inspires the voices of others. Resonance cannot be seen or touched or tasted, yet it undeniably exists. The power of your desire and intention has created this world you experience through the Divine Resonance. I am the Divine Resonance. You may call me Ma’at, embodiment of Cosmic Harmony. You may call me God the Creator. You may call me Mother of All. It does not matter what name you use, except in the meaning you ascribe. What matters is that you remember that you and I are not separate. You sit on my lap and I fill your heart. These words are our words and they are for everyone.
This is the final passage of Andrea Goodman's forthcoming book, Lightning Holds My Hand, A Woman's Journal of Guidance
, that records fourteen months during which her marriage ended and she received intuitive guidance. Author and performer, she sang for many years in New
York City with the Meredith Monk Vocal Ensemble, and currently performs and composes for Figures Of Speech Theatre. Andrea Goodman lives on the coast of Maine where she welcomes people to Ruby-Throated Spirit, Sanctuary and Voice/Star Studio. Here she offers voice lessons, sound healing and Reiki, astrology and Tarot readings, Cosmic Harmony Classes,
personal and small group retreats, sacred ceremonies of all kinds, meditation, blessings, spiritual counseling and mentorship. www.rubythroatedspirit.com
